Determining Who One Is

How does a person determine who he or she is? How does a person gain that self-confidence that they are comfortable in their own skin? When is a person at peace with themselves?

These are some of the most difficult questions a person ever faces.

These questions go back to the fundamental characteristic of human beings…the ability of human beings to solve problems or to make decisions. But, what is the basis for the use of this capability to provide answers for the above questions?

The basis is what has been called the greatest commandments which Jesus limited to just two. The first was to love God with all you heart, and soul, and mind, and strength. The second was like the first…you should love your neighbor as yourself. Many people have pointed out the fact that one cannot really love your neighbor if you do not love yourself. So, to me, the way to answer the questions posed in the first paragraph is to love God and by loving God coming to love yourself so that you can love others, including all creation, as yourself.

So, the charge becomes knowing God and knowing ones self sufficiently so that you can move into greater unity with God and within yourself. This is how one comes to love ones self. This is how one comes to know who he or she is…it is how a person becomes comfortable in their own skin…it how a person achieves peace within themselves.

Still, the process is one of problem solving or decision making. It is the same as everything else we do…we just turn the focus on other objects. The problems we have to deal with in this instance are concerned with how we solve those problems and how we make the decisions that bring us into greater unity…with God…and within ourselves.

And, what is so extraordinary about this? We are to learn and grow and mature in our lives so that we can make better decisions or solve more difficult problems. We are to take responsible for ourselves and our mental state.

This sounds easy…but as we know it is very, very difficult. We live in a world of incomplete information…including a lot of things we don’t know about ourselves. We have to live with uncertainty and change. We have to learn to live with the fact that our worldviews, our models and schema, our rules of life…are partial and fallible. We can be wrong. And, we don’t like that.

One response to this situation is to crave certainty…to crave rules and creeds and dogma that promise “the truth”. We crave a solution to our disunity…our alienation…our lack of wholeness. And, many of us are willing to give up our minds and lives to rulers who will control our lives so that we, maybe…just maybe…may control the things and people around us.

In the end, however, this is not satisfying…it is giving up yourself to others.

We must live in this world of incomplete information…in this world of uncertainty…and accept the fact that our models and worldviews are partial and fallible. Yet, in a very pragmatic way, we stay with models and worldviews that work…that help us make better decisions and solve more difficult problems.

The crucial thing is that we must desire this greater unity with God and with ourselves and this desire must be met with the effort to gain more and more information about God and about ourselves. We must enter into a lifelong search to strengthen our models and worldviews or to modify them or change them if we find new information that leads us into these changes. Like everything else we do, we must go forward building upon the foundations we have established and work to grow into greater unity…and wholeness…and peace.

We must listen to ourselves…we must be aware of disunities…we must be aware of our alienation…and we must question…and we must seek help…and we must be open to new information.

This effort must be intentional on our part…we must address our issues…we must have confidence that we can achieve what we are setting out to do. We must believe, with Goethe, that if we must commit….for when we commit for “the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves to.”

“All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise never have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manners of incidents and meetings and material assistance which no person would have believed would have come their way. Whatever you think you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.”

Seek peace within oneself…seek wholeness…seek self-confidence in one’s own skin. Use what you have been given…and be open to what is possible…to surprise…to wonder.

Be open to God…